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    artwork by Tim Ryan

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lyrics

At four o’clock, alone in the house
I highlight all the ugliness in the air
The way you sat there staring, like I was some kind of freak
I am just trying to breathe

At four o’clock, alone in the house
Highlight all the ugliness in my body
The way you stood up quickly, saying “try not to explode”
You will feel better when I am gone

For the last two years, I’ve felt like I’m in a dream
Like my eyes zoomed out a couple of inches
And it seems like something so very real
Or not even real
At all

Driving through perfect little towns
On the edge of new hampshire, I start to speed
The moon just sat there unmoving above me
And the headlights in the jeep trailing behind, uneasily

They begin to look like monsters
From out of my head, personified
Into clowns, teeth bloodied and smiling
I’ll hit 80, 100, 120, and start to cry

When her voice on the radio
Materializes into a ghost
In the passenger seat, trying to speak
But nothing comes out
Of her gaping mouth
No, nothing comes out
At all

credits

from I Reached My Hand Out, released May 7, 2021

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Will Orchard Nashville, Tennessee

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