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I Reached My Hand Out

by Will Orchard

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    artwork by Tim Ryan

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1.
I hate talking on the phone for too long Her voice digs into my ear Like a razor blade laying naked in the lot I hate coming home for too long Old ghosts come out of their sheds And knock on my door from twilight on But I keep running from the shadows Of giants in the air And the people that I push away Are screaming over there By the pale october hallways Where the sunlight is so bare I like watching scary films with my friend mike His arms wrap so tight around me And I am nothing in his light I like feeling like a shadow of old mark Even though I know now That the light in him had long ago gone dark I remember driving through the mountains Through adirondack park And feeling so lonely Felt freedom from the calls Of the people I know Laying in those cold october halls Laying in those cold october halls
2.
Sorry, Baby 03:19
Take a deep breath and go back inside Go up the stairs and turn on the lights And he’ll be sitting there, fuming in his furnace And he’ll throw you to the curb like a doll Screaming “get the hell off!” My property He said he wanted to bash my skull in And crush my teeth on the stone But all I heard was, this life has me wounded Its gone on too long, and I can’t shake the feeling So I said sorry, baby Let me know about the parking lot If there’s anything I can do I’ll give it all I got I know my head is sometimes halfway there Don’t know if that makes me a fool But I forgive myself for fucking up Maybe you can try it too So I said sorry, baby Let me know about the parking lot If there’s anything I can do I’ll give it all I got So I said sorry, baby Let me know about the parking lot If there’s anything I can do I’ll give it all I got
3.
Alone 03:28
At four o’clock, alone in the house I highlight all the ugliness in the air The way you sat there staring, like I was some kind of freak I am just trying to breathe At four o’clock, alone in the house Highlight all the ugliness in my body The way you stood up quickly, saying “try not to explode” You will feel better when I am gone For the last two years, I’ve felt like I’m in a dream Like my eyes zoomed out a couple of inches And it seems like something so very real Or not even real At all Driving through perfect little towns On the edge of new hampshire, I start to speed The moon just sat there unmoving above me And the headlights in the jeep trailing behind, uneasily They begin to look like monsters From out of my head, personified Into clowns, teeth bloodied and smiling I’ll hit 80, 100, 120, and start to cry When her voice on the radio Materializes into a ghost In the passenger seat, trying to speak But nothing comes out Of her gaping mouth No, nothing comes out At all
4.
Rita 02:45
Blue eyes, sitting in the cold With a lollipop in her mouth Sweater, buttoned to hear throat Red lips, an invisible house From across the lake I can see us now Basking in the twilight that I found Throwing darts at the wall With a blindfold around my heart Wind blew my shaky hands away Before they found the cherry tart In the folds of night It falls all around Sleep all morning, dream of howling dogs Blue eyes, stitched to my heart With a blindfold around my head Hands tied tender to a ghost As she leads me into her bed From across a dream I can see us now Sweetly loving, I hear someone scream
5.
Cartwheels 04:34
I watch from the park as she cartwheels down the slope I watch from the park as she cartwheels down the slope Towards the shoreline, where the ocean meets the air Towards the shoreline, place where I can never tread I watch from the park as she cartwheels in the waves I watch from the park as she cartwheels in the waves Goin deeper, making splashes everywhere Catching glances from homebound creatures everywhere I watch from the earth as she cartwheels in the sky I watch from the earth as she cartwheels in the stars A golden smile, painted on these sheets of green A golden canvas, made up by her little queen I watch from a hole in these sheets of white She dances all over this big disguise Hear her footsteps, pounding on the sky so bright I held her closely, right between my arms one night
6.
The first thing that I did this morning Was cloud my eyes a little more When a rainstorm of static noise Filled my heart with fear and hate So I walked out to the crusher’s lake Red from old velvet cake When a great blue heron flew over to me It’s mighty wings sitting perfectly Above the water, to blow away my fog I walked out of my foggy head And got a cup of coffee downstairs There was a cornucopia On the kitchen table ringed with flowers Where fred and bob and bill and jan Sat there cracking cracker jacks all day And in the meadow children ran, Bobbleheads bobbing in the reeds And I said to em all “Come into my fog!” So I said to em all “Come into my fog!” And blow it all away
7.
Old friends sat with me in the porchlight Cold eyes watched us out from the moonlight When the sun came burning overhead Everyone followed god's lonely hands From this dreamer’s town Where I hang around Like balloons tied to a rocking chair Time just fades away Over blue highways I’m not angry or scared I’m just more aware When you hang around You don’t need the sound Of my heart in your ear You aren’t in my tears
8.
Hair Salon 02:57
Soft red light at the hair salon Humming like a cloud for me Little grey lady by the firelight A few years down the street Tomorrow morning I will let the moon’s Passing take me slow As her shade descends upon me I will watch from the window Soft white hands on my trembling head Fill me up with stars Smile so sweet and hit 30 percent As I watched it fill her heart I wish I said I’ll be around In the neighborhood if she Ever needs a tender shoulder When her world comes crumbling She came out to the theater last night With her ex boyfriend Said great show, really broke a leg And she clutched tight onto him And though her eyes remained glued to mine I started to understand So carry on bright angel Carry on bright angel Carry on bright angel I will watch you heal your broken hand
9.
Smoke Alarm 03:26
Pulled me out of my dream like there was nothing to it Opened up my pale white shades and threw the sun onto me When I feel her coming down the street I get so nervous My hands shake and my heart beats and I’m a helpless child I don’t know her well but I can’t stand it any longer Appears in all my fantasies but she doesn’t belong there Cartwheels ride beside me and a storm follows behind All the birds form stars in their dark eyes and try to follow But she eludes them all the same Blowing smoke up in the rain Like a trail washes away In the pain of not knowing what to say Walk out to the early morning, head downtown again With a fever deep inside me, burning as I am Helpless in her fiery gaze, to laugh and throw my charms All around the room like a broken smoke alarm All around the room like a broken smoke alarm
10.
Bones 02:43
The door swings shut and I just stare at my phone Can’t really think about anything at all So I walk home, as the bright sun pours through the window A lonely feeling overtakes me as the light breaks up Into millions, trillions of pieces If these bones were talking, talking If these bones could talk, and tell me where they’ve been What would they say? If these bones were talking, talking

about

all songs written and arranged by will orchard
produced, engineered & mixed by allen tate
mastered by tyler mcdiarmid
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musicians:
will orchard: vocals, guitar, electric bass (1, 9), synths, piano, banjo, perussion (1)
james goodwin: drums (2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 10), shouts (2, 6)
jess kerber: guitar (2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 10), harmonies (4, 6, 10) shouts (2, 6)
miles burger: upright bass (2, 3, 4, 6), electric bass (7,10), harmonies (4, 6, 10) shouts (2, 6)
ian compton: trumpet (8)

group vocals on track 10 also include tim gamache, kate orchard, nicolette bernardi, scott orchard, caroline orchard, arielle tindel, sam bonney, ben mccormick, jack fortin, matt zucconi
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album cover by tim ryan
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<3 thanks to everyone who was involved in the making and release of this record. thanks to all the beautiful supportive people in my life.

credits

released May 7, 2021

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Will Orchard Nashville, Tennessee

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